Guided by Hope
When I was a child, I had a recurring dream of falling into a bottomless, deep darkness. Initially, I thought this dream was unique to me, but as I got older, I have heard others describe a similar dream. My dream’s recurrent nature eventually made it less scary and easier to endure, as I came to realise that there will be a time when the bottomless darkness will be no more. When I wake, I’ll wake to the softness of the sheets on my skin, the gentle pressure of the mattress supporting my body and to the welcome revelation that all is not lost. Optimism is the belief that a positive outcome is highly probable. Confidence in a positive result is strengthened by past experiences of “getting through it”. Every time I woke from that dream, it reinforced my belief that even when the darkness feels bottomless, there will be a point when it will end and all will be well.
As a coach, when working with a pessimist, someone who has more evidence of undesirable results or difficulty associating positive outcomes of an event with their agency, it’s challenging to argue the case for optimism. Yet during times of despair, the role of hope is significant and valuable, as it shines brightest when times are dark. Hope plays its part in the midst of adversity and uncertainty, when optimism is low due to a person’s perceived lack of control, their past experiences or the turmoil they witness in their lives. So, how do we make the case for hope?
While many factors influence the outcome, moving forward is one of the most significant ways to keep making progress towards a positive future. Taking action is a vital step in the bigger picture, and hope is a compelling driver. Hope is powerful because it’s an action in itself, and as a positive emotion, it can motivate people to engage in activities that align with the pursuit of their desired future. Hopeful people are more resilient and successful in achieving their goals. As a positive psychology practitioner or a coach, when people are sinking into hopelessness, it’s up to us to support them in coming back to the power of the mind. To remind them that the negative things happening are impactful because of our perceptions. If negative thoughts can be debilitating, consider the power we can bestow on our positive thoughts. Regardless of the difficulties we face, the Earth is still turning, somewhere in the world the flowers are still blooming, the whales are still swimming, and the clouds are still moving; there is still a chance for a positive outcome even if the result doesn’t look like it’s expected to.
When supporting someone through this time, it’s our responsibility to identify when hope in times of despair is helpful and when it is destructive, acknowledging the negative emotions accompanied by the despair while also using judgment to distinguish between wishful and willful hope. When a person is exhibiting indicators of wishful hope, being passive, expecting things to just fall into place with no drive to set any realistic goals or willful hope, where the person doesn’t consider their own limitations and is overly reliant on their own agency in affecting the outcome, coaches need the capacity to guide the client in self-reflection, allowing them to maintain their hold on what is realistic, the resources available and the environment they’re in.
It helps to bear in mind that emotions are states, temporary, fluctuating and changing with context. To manage the situational experiences, we can draw on something more enduring, namely, our traits and our strengths. Hope as a noun, a character strength describing the belief in a good future outcome and as a verb, believing in a good future outcome and as a catalyst for action, even if the action is just hoping in itself. In times of despair, some people turn to spirituality—whether through religion, universalist philosophies, or mystical beliefs—often anchored by meaningful symbols and imagery. For many, the presence of tangible practices or a supportive community strengthens their faith in the mind’s power to overcome life’s difficulties. Whichever means we use to associate our belief in the positive result, to motivate ourselves into action so we can achieve it, is spurred on by one of the fundamental concepts in positive psychology - hope.
All the very best, Danielle🌺.
